Hell and a Hard Place by Lindsay Paige

Author:Lindsay Paige [Paige, Lindsay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Heaven and Hell Duet
Publisher: Lindsay Paige
Published: 2018-10-14T18:30:00+00:00

My worry triples the moment I hear my baby’s heartbeat. Lila is now four months along and we’re here to learn the sex of my baby. For the past few weeks, I worried that maybe I should think of him or her as our baby instead, but Lila never does. She even refers to it as my baby. She never says, “I can’t wait to meet our baby.” Or, “I’m sure my baby will be so cute.” It’s always “Your baby” this and that, usually her complaining about something.

She’s told me I get to pick the name, which I find odd. What first-time expectant mother doesn’t want to help name her baby? Apparently, Lila doesn’t.

I close my eyes, listening to that soft heartbeat as if I’ve never heard anything else like it before. I guess I haven’t, not really. And then, we’re told we’re having a boy. A sweet baby boy. A baby who doesn’t deserve a mother like Lila. This past week has been peaceful, but that just means the shit will hit the fan soon. I leave work a little early to write down whatever happened the day before and then mail that to my mother for safekeeping. There’s nowhere here for me to keep anything private, where Lila wouldn’t eventually find it, so that was the safest way to go.

She turns to me as we’re leaving and says, “I’m giving you a boy. Happy?”

“Yeah, I am.” Would’ve been just as happy with a girl, too. “Are you?”

She scoffs. “You’ll probably turn him against me. Make him hate me. At least I could’ve bonded with a girl.”

What the fuck? “Lila, I ain’t going to turn my baby against you or make him hate you. And you can bond with him just as well as you could a girl.”

She swivels to face me as we’ve reached the driver’s side of the car. “Why should I believe you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve pulled away. We don’t kiss or hold hands like we used to. You won’t have sex with me anymore.” Her hands rest on her stomach. “I give you a baby and you give me nothing in return!”

“We’re supposed to be working on our issues, remember? I seem to remember you saying you wanted to be better, but I’ll be damned if I’ve seen you try.”

She doesn’t even try to slap me. She punches me in the jaw. Right there in public in full view of the couple getting into their car two spaces over. My fists clench and unclench as she lets the hysteria take over. “How dare you say I haven’t I tried! I stay at home and take care of the house.”

“Because that’s the decision you made without me,” I remind her.

“We don’t drink anymore,” she continues. She still tries once a week to get me to relapse. “I’m letting you choose this baby’s name!” All of a sudden she talks as if she’s crying, but there’s not one fucking tear on her face.

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